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Children Lose When A Divorced Parent Is Coerced Out

Children Lose When A Divorced Parent Is Coerced Out

What some divorcing parents would relish, more than anything, is for the other parent to vanish. They believe that would solve all their quandaries. What they don’t apperceive is that when one parent vanishes, the children’s quandaries generally get worse.

A few years ago a case in the Court showed us what a high price children can pay when they lose a parent through divorce.

The case had commenced 14 years earlier. The divorcing parents had a one-year-old daughter. They were quarreling about how much time dad should spend with her. At some point the mother grew weary of the fight, and she peregrinate to Nevada where she filed a second divorce suit. People could do that back then. It seems the father had withal grown weary of the fight, because he ignored the Nevada court papers.

When the Nevada judge didn’t aurally perceive from the father, he signed a divorce decree, provided by the mother’s lawyer, which verbally expressed the mother was to have sole custody. The father was to have no visitation rights at all. It additionally verbalized the father needn’t pay child support. I conjecture the mother’s lawyer thought no time/no mazuma was a fair deal.

What brought this back to other court 14 years later, was the fact that when the child was in her 15th year, she endeavored suicide.

The psychologist who was treating her verbally expressed the major contributing factor to her suicide endeavor was that she had an excruciating longing to ken her father. Everyone has auricularly discerned of adopted children who move heaven and earth to endeavor to find their birth parents. Children want to ken their parents.

The psychologist verbalized that the adolescent girl had always inculpated herself for her daddy’s absence. She had celebrated, Everybody’s daddy dotes them except my daddy. He doesn’t dote me. I must be unlovable.

He explicated that children who lose a parent virtually always cerebrate it is their fault.

He verbally expressed that what it would take to make this child whole and salubrious again was to find her father.

The mother was back in the Court to ask the Court to avail her find him, because he authentically had vanished. The Court has no resources to avail locate missing parents. The irony in this case is that the mother is now spending her own mazuma to pay a private investigator to endeavor to find the father.

Fourteen years after she had won it all in Nevada, this mother learned that her own victory was her daughter’s loss, that a parent’s wishes and needs can be different from–even antithesis to–a child’s wishes and needs. Unfortunately, the mother learned all this at the daughter’s expense.

When a parent’s needs are different from a child’s needs, we can only hope the child’s needs will come first.

Habits That Could Be Divorce Indictors

University of California-Berkeley and University of Washington psychologists researched behaviors that could be good indicators for future divorce.

A recent study of 373 newlyweds found that if these behaviors were exhibited, divorce was more likely, even as far as 16 years down the line. Read four of these indicators below:

Contempt

A blend of outrage and nauseate, hatred is much more regrettable than consistent old disappointment. It fundamentally implies you see your accomplice as underneath you, not an equivalent. It could be the kiss of death in a relationship. On the off chance that you always feel more quick witted, better or potentially more touchy than your accomplice, you’re additionally more averse to see their suppositions as substantial. You’re additionally – significantly – not going to attempt and see their viewpoint.

Criticism

Feedback’s definition is basically in the name. It includes transforming something your accomplice did into an announcement about their character. Feedback regularly happens inside, such as stifling non-useful feelings on your accomplice’s conduct. These can include and breed disdain and scorn.

Defensiveness

It’s alright to safeguard yourself amidst a contention, however dropping to part of casualty frequently is a notice sign. Assuming liability for your part in an extreme circumstance can be awkward yet it can keep an awful circumstance from making a huge deal about. Getting into antagonism resembles venturing into a sand trap. It’s anything but difficult to enter yet difficult to exit.

Stonewalling

Closing off discussion is effortlessly as noxious as something prefer scorn, since it averts tending to hidden issues. It’s reasonable – contentions suck. Nobody needs to be in one, yet frequently they’re solid things to have. They don’t have to decline into shouting matches and thinking about the love seat, yet just as a vessel for voicing conclusions. Packaging your emotions and deterring yourself to your loved one is a restricted track to separate.

In the event that you end up relating to any of these things, don’t stress. The initial step – and frequently the hardest – is sucking it up and letting yourself know and your accomplice. Acknowledging when you’re doing it and pulling your head in next time you get yourself frantically moving fault could end up sparing your marriage.

Schedule a free consultation and our experienced San Diego Divorce Attorneys will assist you with any questions you have regarding a potential divorce.

Child Custody Modifications – San Diego Divorce Attorney Dunne & Dunne LLP

September 22nd, 2017

Courts do not take the subject of modified child custody laws lightly. But, if the court believes that a modification is truly in the best interests of the children involved, But they will not hesitate in modifying existing child custody orders if they feel modification is really in the best interest of the children involved.

Courts in California like to see both parents play a large role in their children’s life. Courts tend to lean towards decision that accommodate the idea of the parents playing a big role in the kids lives.  Courts typically give the benefit of the doubt to whichever party’s request will lead to the parents sharing equal time with their children.  If a modification of the current custody order will bring the court closer to what they feel is fair, then the modification has a better chance of being granted.

You will have to show a big change in circumstance if you are seeking a modification.

Listed below are situations where modification of child custody could be necessary:

  • Relocation of one of the parents: California, like most states, have very strict regulations on where you can travel with the children involved. Consent from the other party is almost always required.  A modification in custody orders may be needed to accommodate everyone if a parent moves to a different location
  • Change in Marital Situation for One or Both Parents: If a parent re-marries it could change the lifestyle of all family members involved. If the new marriage creates problems in anyway and adversely affects the children, then a modification in custody may necessary.
  • Problems with Existing Orders: If the current custody orders are very one-sided and favoring one party of the other, or especially if it is burdensome in anyway on the children, that could be grounds for a custody modification.
  • Wishes of the Involved Children: The court always takes into consideration the requests of the children involved, as long as they are age-appropriate to verbalize these wishes. The older the child, the more weight their preference will carry. 

Even if your request falls under one of these situations, you will have to show a “substantial change in circumstances,” and that this will truly be in the best interests of the involved children.

If you have any questions, do not hesitate to schedule a free consultation with one of our experienced San Diego Divorce Attorneys. Call us today at 619-232-9260.

Parenting Plans – San Diego Divorce

September 18th, 2017

No doubt divorce is an emotional time for all members of the family. The couple has to find some type of common ground on many issues. Division of assets, child support, spousal support and more. In all cases the best interests of the child must be thoroughly examined. Typically this takes place during the mediation process. You and your spouse will be able to look at the child’s best interests and make a decision based on these factors.

Parenting Mediation

It’s easy for children to get caught up in the conflict of divorce and can often become a pawn used by the parents. To avoid hurting the children, mediation gets both parents to look at the bigger picture. When a couple can look at the child and put aside the issues they have towards each other, a fair and positive solution can come about. Children should have the ability to spend time with both parents and have the right to be provided for by both of them.

Parenting plans San Diego

Clear Wording

When both parents have come up with an agreed-upon solution that is based on the best interests of the child or children, a parenting plan needs to be prepared. It is imperative that this plan includes clear wording so that nothing can be misconstrued later on. If anything in the mediation agreement is worded vaguely, this can cause even more conflict down the road. When the final agreement has verbal clarity, both parties know exactly what is expected and what is enforceable.

The Child’s Developmental Needs

Make sure you pay attention to the ages of the children involved and their developmental needs. Special needs should also be addressed during this process. Flexibility will definitely be required to account for the changing needs of the child as they grows up. Based on these needs, The clauses prepared in any plan must be realistic and feasible. An experienced mediator knows how to write up such a plan in a clear and distinct way according to the solutions presented by the couple, which are based on the child’s needs. With a clear-cut solution written in a clear and concise format, both parents will know exactly what is expected in terms of accessibility to the child and his upbringing.

If you have any questions, do not hesitate to schedule a free consultation with one of our experienced San Diego family law attorneys. Call us today at 619-232-9260.

Importance of Addressing Digital Assets In Prenuptial Agreements – Law and Legal Articles – San Diego

September 2nd, 2017

Many people share their digital assets, but you obviously have the right to keep them separate as well.  We recommend you plan ahead and notate in a prenuptial agreement how you want your digital assets treated in the event of a divorce.  Photos, videos, emails, and computer files are all considered digital assets.

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More Court Appearances Are Sure To Happen When Abandonment Issues Happen In Divorces

August 19th, 2017

Abandonment is a common factor in divorces that seems to linger on for a long time.  When we see divorced spouses returning to court years after the divorce process was completed, we do some research into their family history and typically we see abandonment trauma in their backgrounds. 

The most frequent types of abandonment included a parent leaving the household or a parent passing away.  Sometimes when a parent is sick or not spending enough time interacting with their kids, a child can perceived that as a form of abandonment.

It can also include parental drug or alcohol abuse. A substance-impaired parent is not emotionally available, and to a child that can feel like abandonment. Not surprisingly, many adopted children have feelings of abandonment.

If you or anyone you care about is in need of family law assistance, do not hesitate to contact our experienced San Diego family law attorneys on staff.  Call us at 619-232-9260.

Could dating somebody involved in a divorce result in any legal ramifications?

August 15th, 2017

It can be a bit risky to date somebody who has not yet finalized a divorce and had the paperwork completed.

Often times there are legal ramifications that could negatively impact the individual who is dating a person going through a divorce.  These issues could possibly affect the divorcing partner and their former significant other.

Our experienced San Diego divorce attorneys can help.  Contact Dunne & Dunne today for a free consultation!

Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreement Mediation in San Diego

Seasoned Mediation Attorney for Marital Agreements

A prenuptial agreement is a great way for couples to have a clear idea of which assets are being brought into their marriage and prevent possible disputes that could arise in the future. A postnuptial agreement can be an advantageous solution when married couples are purchasing a home, investing in a business, or are experiencing changes to financial status.

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Divorcing late in life? Don’t let it destroy your retirement.

Sometimes “till death do us part” just isn’t soon enough.

The phenomenon of late-life divorce is growing fast — and blowing apart a lot of divorcing spouses’ retirement plans in the process.

“It’s almost like a gray divorce boom is unfolding just before our eyes,” said Ann Dowd, vice president of Fidelity Investments.

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Why doing your research is important

When you decide to separate or divorce, there are going to be a lot of hard decisions to make. You may have purchased vehicles, a home, made investments and gathered personal possessions along the way. There is a lot of emotion involved when the relationship is becoming dismantled and a mediator is there to help you get past these emotions. He or she is a third-party that is neutral and can help the communication process so that the couple can remain focused on finding solutions.

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Always Leave An Option Open

We are often surprised and somewhat dismayed to observe how frequently business people and their legal representatives will “draw lines in the sand”, “dig in their heels” or otherwise put themselves in an untenable position if thing don’t go just their way.  Whether handling an Alternative Dispute Resolution case dealing with, Divorce, Child Custody, Probate or any other mediation, there is almost no occasion that warrants such a position. The more one knows about life, how things work and how problems can get resolved, the more one eschews insisting that it has to be your way, “or else”.

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9 Mistakes To Avoid When Getting A Divorce in California

Getting a divorce can take years with the clogged court system and tens of thousands of dollars even when employing the best divorce lawyers. The most common and financially devastating legal dispute you are likely to go through is a divorce. Our job is to help you come to an agreement that works for both sides and help you avoid the emotional toll that long-drawn out court battles take. We take the matter through the Court. You NEVER have to appear in Court.

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