Children Lose When A Divorced Parent Is Coerced Out
What some divorcing parents would relish, more than anything, is for the other parent to vanish. They believe that would solve all their quandaries. What they don’t apperceive is that when one parent vanishes, the children’s quandaries generally get worse.
A few years ago a case in the Court showed us what a high price children can pay when they lose a parent through divorce.
The case had commenced 14 years earlier. The divorcing parents had a one-year-old daughter. They were quarreling about how much time dad should spend with her. At some point the mother grew weary of the fight, and she peregrinate to Nevada where she filed a second divorce suit. People could do that back then. It seems the father had withal grown weary of the fight, because he ignored the Nevada court papers.
When the Nevada judge didn’t aurally perceive from the father, he signed a divorce decree, provided by the mother’s lawyer, which verbally expressed the mother was to have sole custody. The father was to have no visitation rights at all. It additionally verbalized the father needn’t pay child support. I conjecture the mother’s lawyer thought no time/no mazuma was a fair deal.
What brought this back to other court 14 years later, was the fact that when the child was in her 15th year, she endeavored suicide.
The psychologist who was treating her verbally expressed the major contributing factor to her suicide endeavor was that she had an excruciating longing to ken her father. Everyone has auricularly discerned of adopted children who move heaven and earth to endeavor to find their birth parents. Children want to ken their parents.
The psychologist verbalized that the adolescent girl had always inculpated herself for her daddy’s absence. She had celebrated, Everybody’s daddy dotes them except my daddy. He doesn’t dote me. I must be unlovable.
He explicated that children who lose a parent virtually always cerebrate it is their fault.
He verbally expressed that what it would take to make this child whole and salubrious again was to find her father.
The mother was back in the Court to ask the Court to avail her find him, because he authentically had vanished. The Court has no resources to avail locate missing parents. The irony in this case is that the mother is now spending her own mazuma to pay a private investigator to endeavor to find the father.
Fourteen years after she had won it all in Nevada, this mother learned that her own victory was her daughter’s loss, that a parent’s wishes and needs can be different from–even antithesis to–a child’s wishes and needs. Unfortunately, the mother learned all this at the daughter’s expense.
When a parent’s needs are different from a child’s needs, we can only hope the child’s needs will come first.